Real Fortunes

Every time I eat a fortune cookie and read the so-called “fortune,” I always gripe about how they’re not really fortunes but just wise sayings. I don’t care about that Confucius says that a wise man is slow to judge. If the name says “Fortune Cookie” then I want my fortune told. Either that, or change the name to “Proverb Cookies.”

However, recently, a large amount of fortune cookies have come into my possession and I noticed that they’re no longer proverbs, but actual fortunes. I thought the first few were just a fluke, but then they just kept on coming.

For example:

“If it is meant to be, who are you to change that? It’s time to believe it.”

“It could be better, but its good enough.”

“Look around yourself. Your answer is nearby.”

“They will be grateful that you cared enough to make it.”

“An unexpected check or fortune will arrive today.”

“Your laugh now, wait till you get home.”

“Right now there’s an energy pushing you in a new direction.”

“It’s over your head now. Time to get some professional help.”

“Be brave at heart. Take the chance it’s been there all the time.”

“You are ready to take on the world.”

“An unexpected bill or financial report will arrive today.”

So, kudos to you fortune cookie makers for gusty-ing up and making them actual fortunes inside. You’re finally living up to your name.

Still doesn’t mean I believe any of that crap, but kudos nonetheless.


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